In the event of a Zombie attack
Someone asked me, “in the event of a zombie attack, where would you go?”
Before I answer, I should acknowledge that zombies scare the bejesus out of me. Not the slow-moving, blobs from my childhood. No, they were laughable.
Modern zombies from movies like “28 Days Later” and the remake of “Dawn of the Dead.” THOSE zombies are scary. Needless to say, I’ve thought about my Zombie Strategy.
Hospital
For starters, never go to the hospital. That’s probably ground zero for an outbreak. “He’s dying, bring him to the hospital!” No thanks. You will be eaten.
Supermarket
Most people are running to the supermarket, but there are two serious problems: it’s difficult to protect and there are no weapons. Plus, as fresh meat and fish start to spoil, the odor will become unbearable. A good zombie attack often knocks out some of the electrical grid. Adding insult to injury, your double coupons are now worthless.
Mall
As we’ve seen from two movies, the mall is a pretty decent place, since the variety of stores means that you’ll have new items and plenty of food. Those roll-down steel cages are great for keeping the dead at bay and picking them off. The real challenge is a clean sweep, since there are so many places for them to hide. Although, on the bright side, this is one of the rare times you can park in a handicapped spot. I mean, hey, it’s an apocalypse, parking laws are temporarily suspended.
Police Station
The police station might be good, since they have weapons. But it’s also likely that the doors are locked…and the cops inside are probably hunkering down and aiming for “head shots.” Some are marksmen from 100 yards or more, so they wont necessarily know you are simply looking for refuge.
Discount Variety Stores
Stores like K-Mart and Walmart are starting to look particularly attractive, especially if they have a food section. You want something with tools, since you’re going to need to barricade yourself in for a while. If they have a sporting goods section, raid this area first.
Fire Department
Fire departments are great, since firefighters have axes, food, and those big trucks. A second floor with a fire pole is great, since it’s easy to defend. Plus, they will have emergency medical supplies, communications devices, and generators.
Home Sweet Home
Honestly the best place of all is inside your own home. You know the vulnerable entrances (board them up immediately), you have medications for family members, and you have enough food to survive the initial attack. You just have to resist the urge to flee to someplace “safer.”
So…where would YOU goin the event of a zombie outbreak? (It’s just a matter of time!)
Batman Isn’t a Comic Anymore?
In “Why Comics Are Doomed,” I argued that for comics to survive, we need to stop marketing them as “children’s entertainment.” We need to position comics as entertainment for adults.
Here’s proof why. In the newspaper, there are “movie capsules” that encapsulate the movie. Here, dear friends, is the description for:
“The Dark Knight”
Batman isn’t a comic book anymore. Christopher Nolan’s “The Dark Knight” is a haunted film that leaps beyond its origins and becomes and engrossing tragedy. It creates characters we care about. That’s because of the performances, because of the direction, because of the writing, and because of the superlative technical quality of the entire production. The key performance in the movie is by the late Heath Ledger, as the Joker.
The first sentence reveals a preconceived notion shared by many people. They expect comics to be campy, mindless entertainment for kids.
The second sentence goes further when it notes it is “a haunted film that leaps beyond its origins and becomes and engrossing tragedy.” Correct me if I’m wrong, but hasn’t Batman always been an engrossing tragedy? Not every issue, sure, but some of them, right?
To this writer, “The Dark Knight” and “Iron Man” are simply grown up versions of comics. Storytelling flukes created by sophisticated master filmmakers. Nothing in traditional comic books can come close.
For all of you 40-year-old virgins, this is how many people think about comics.
How many people saw “The Dark Knight” and then went to the comic book store to buy Detective Comics? Probably not many, since the assumption is that the movie is for adults…and the comic books are for the kids.
If we keep marketing comics as children’s entertainment, the medium is doomed. Even Hollywood cant save us from ourselves.
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